stories

Stories from the hospital. 

1. I clerked the patient about a week ago. He had esophagus cancer. The cancer obstruct the food passage. He cant eat or drink. He can taste the simple food and gourmet. But he had to vomit it back out. He'a 66 yr old man. He will have a very high risk operation this thursday. His chest will be opened and... his risk of dying is very high... but even today he is still smiling...

 2. A 50 male has stomach cancer. He already removed the cancer a year ago. He came again because of vomiting. The cancer is still there. Tonight, he is resting... occasionally vomiting. His 8 yrs old daughter is resting her head at his leg. Sometimes the daughter would massage his head....*sigh*.. Dont take things for granted.You can still eat and enjoy things in life. Not them.

Standing in the sideline

I believed that if you would open your heart even if my writing is bad iA you will get something from this reading.

Read with your heart, read and reflects to what is happening to yourself and those around you.

 7164. Read. In truth, there is the third group by which is not mentioned and is condemned by God that God doesnt even want to speak of them. That is those who doesnt do anything.

Someone told me;There's even a hadeeth to the effect that the one who just remains distant and likes to hear all the news reports is cursed (quote)... Are you one them? One who tends to play safe, to feel better to stand at the sideline. Loving it even.

The heart that loves to stay at the sideline.... the problem is the heart. What happen to your heart? The heart that doesnt feel the pain of the ummah?                              

Surah al-Fil. The only reason why Qabah is defended is because of God. God is superior. Even the kafir believed and surrendered to The Defender of Qaabah. They did make effort to defend Qabah but they never won. Why?

"We have to have effort...but, effort which is based on what? Like the Prophet who does not surrended but one who actually did something. Who makes effort to spread islam. Before quraisy, Arab was average. After islam, they rule 2/3 of earth." The quraisy failed to defend Qabah because they have no islam. The only way one can win is by islam.

An-nur: 55

Al-an'am: 44.

Islam is dying. Where is your effort? An effort that is based by islam. Because the only way we can win is by teaching the muslims and nonmuslims to be a true muslims.

"Membina manusia." Imam Hassan al-Banna. Where is your effort of da'wah? Im sorry to jump to this conclusion, but at the end..... da'wah and tarbiyah is the only way.

The only way to help your heart and islam is by da'wah and tarbiyah. Peace.

I challenge you to find another way.

The Heart Doctor...pfft.

A woman's heart is something that can be easily conquered and destroyed.

When you start to fall in love (or something in that line), you will face the dilemma of taking control of your heart. Fall in love with your creator first. Let God be your first or ultimate love. He created your heart. He will take good care of your heart.

If you only love a creature, a creature who is, by right capable of hurting your heart because of his imperfection. The creature however can do nothing better except to tell you sorry.

 If then, you decide to go to God, the Perfect One.... He will help you heal them. But they ll be scars of course. Your heart is no longer pretty and pure. It is contaminated. Of course you can ask God to cleanse it, by repenting.

 They say that once a lady gave a piece of her heart, it cannot be returned. The hole will remain empty. Unless, he gave her his. But once he leaves, the hole will become empty once more.

A relationship with a lady will forever leave a print, and usually only the ladies will suffer more. A word of wisdom is to be careful in whom you gave your heart to. To give or not at all?

 To leave it to God? To guard it? At the end, it's your choice. So if you get hurt, it is without a doubt your fault.

Simply because you let it hurt you. Dont make a habit of blaming others for anything.

"When I was your age, I read voraciously, plied my teachers for scraps of information that lay ahead in the curriculum, beseeched the permission of the librarians to bring texts home over the summers. To me, knowledge was still miraculous, still perfect in my mind."

"I've seen it in many of my peers," he went on, "It was as if knowledge had lost its novelty for these immature little fools, like the gloss or paint chipped from a toy." He shook his head, and his lip curled into a sneer. "They treat it as schoolwork, the means to get marks. A Distinction, Pass, Fail. And all I thought of them was - pathetic."

 - adapted from http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3672254/3/To-Define-Treachery

Anatomically and Spiritually

My sister just got married last week. Just short of three days I believe. She’s probably reading this as well. I missed her. I love you sis.

I am a fanatic of harrypotter fanfiction. Of magic. To be honest, I am interested in anything that’s spiritual and sparkles. (no, I hate twilight and honestly, vampire? Ridiculous.) Yeah, I should stop...They just fascinated me.

Of things that are beautiful but invisible. Isn’t that’s what our soul is? What our prayer is? What our love and fear is? Have you ever felt it; Love that was too much that you that it makes you cry in happiness. Feelings.  And nature and life itself…God, these things can be intense when one is focused enough, or care enough I guess.

What I mean to is that… our ‘body’ is comprised of 2; body and soul. Our body is forever trapped to Earth. Our soul belongs to the Heaven, or Hell if one is bad enough. And those 2 entities when separated it can be REALLY painful, as He said. Pain separated our body and soul. 

Pleasure on the hand makes it harder for soul to be separated thus Body entrapped soul to Earth. If one damaged his or her soul enough, there may not be enough soul to enter Heaven.  I guess those that worship pagan or satan either are entrapping their body to Earth or destroying their soul.

And those that worship God, went to Heaven. Either way, both Earth and Heaven belong to Him. And you can only see Him in Heaven. 

And our prayers…  is a cleansing ceremony. For our soul, so that we can enter Heaven… When, we cry during our ritual or pray… our tears are like a sort offerings we gives to Him. And when we pray and work (as our ibadah)… is like offering our blood to Him. Others like sweat and time works as well.

In exchange of His Love…

And have power, peace and pleasure for being under His protection…

I just… I never see things this way before… 

And our sensory affects our soul just as well it affects our brain…. I always see things histologically, or macroscopically… not this, well maybe I have, but not as clearly as now.

To which my lectures are loved and Meds School is deemed a head-banging stress-rising course.

Romance is overrated. I am going to go on “denial” mode and state that. And…Yes, I love my teachers so much that I am writing down their jokes as my own personal collection. Yeah, you heard me.

Today class 26/11/12: 4 CLASS: Peptic ulcer ds. Pancreas and Spleen, Oropharyngeal ds, and Development and anat of tongue. Not in that order. 

But since I DO just learn this today, expect some mistakes.

PUD class.

One of our hematologist lectures came up to our class, smiled and said knowingly “What am I doing here?” I thought incredulously :” To teach us peptic ulcer disease obviously.” “I AM a haematologist.” She added. Oh yeah, I thought. “Simple. Because ulcer Bleed,” she answered. Right… logic.

Apparently you can have an EXTREMELY rare disease: malignant duodenal ulcer. Yeah. If you have ulcer… that might be due to cancer. Oh cancer…

She was showing us figures on how Helicobacter pylori affect duodenal ulcer and gastric ulcer differently. (100% and 75%) and she stopped and looked at us and said “If you read book, IF..” she emphasized, to which we all laugh nervously.“ then the figures might different.” She finished off. Yeah, meds students… its hard to find time to actually read books, most of time we rely on the lecture notes.

We might DIE without them notes. Really.

Apparently, every lectures have their own dislike. I truly respect this lecture for she asks for her students’ feedback almost always and ACTUALLY act upon it. You see, I rather dislike ineffective teaching.  So, I love her. She likes using the transparent to teach her students. And STILL do. But, last block, she found out that her students don’t like the transparent.

She was brilliant you know. One of the few lecturers that actually know what she was doing. She said that powerpoint is too SLOW. Me= nah teacher, you are just THAT awesome.

Oh and... Type A =like me…are more prone to gastric ulcer and Type O blood with duodenal ulcer. BUT I believe she said that this have NO value in clinical.

ULCER = due to high offense like in duodenal ulcer, low defense in gastric ulcer (gel, HCO3, acid secrete directly to lumen, labile cell and PG) to which she illustrated with BOMB to replace arrow and WOODEN gates for the fortress.

I would now officially call her my Prof (yeah she is a professor) Balance. She likes using that terminology. Destroying the balance of life = you get disease. I think she use that term in homeostasis and thrombosis lecture as well, oh and most haematology class. (What with bone marrow compensation and blood destruction)

Since I am an HP fan, when I saw the etiology/cause of Gastric ulcer is Helicobacter pylori/ HP… I call it = Harry.

Harry is a –ve person (Gram negative) curved/bent (bacillus) and microaerophilic and LIKE alkaline/ SOAP. Huh, did I just said Harry is a depressed, gay (astaghfirullah) and clean guy? Oh and that he needs lower oxygen than us mere mortal. Dear me.

But, Harry grows okay in dirty place/ unsanitary condition . Hah, clean Harry can only survive in dump. 3 Steps on how Harry could infest the stomachy= flagella, adhesive and enzyme.

Now, I am imaging Potter with a tail, wearing a glue-covered attire and holding a gun/ containing the enzyme. Seriously.

But boy does Potter have a cool gun. Urease = to produce soapy environment. Protease = to break the wall/protein. Phospoholipase = to break the other wall. And chemosttractant = attract other neutrophil/ wild dogs to continue to produce more toxic, by producing CHLOROX. Yup you heard me right. Apparently, Harry is that desperate for a clean environment that chlorox is produced.

MYTH: There is NO CONCRITE EVIDENCE THAT stress and spicy food cause ulcer.

Oh and IDA, PERFORATION, penetration, narrowing/ obstruction are the complication.

Song for today

 Chorus: Dikau bisa berdarah mencengkam tubuh. Kekasih lena di pangkuanmu. Engkau tetap setia. Hingga ber gelip air mata.  Khalifah pertama by Mirwana.

 

Imagine

Abu Bakar gazed lovingly at the Prophet resting on his lap. His heart clenched at the suffering that Prophet had endured. Rarely would his beloved able to get such rest. 

He stiffened. 

He watched as a snake came out from a small hole, probably smelling the presence of food, namely him. He watched the snake, pleadingly.  His arm tightened protectively around dear Beloved.

‘Not him. He’s resting.’ Abu Bakr shook his head to the snake, begging silently. Fear that he might wake Beloved.

 ‘Please’

The sinister snake simply shot out and bites Abu Bakr. 

Tensing at the sudden pain, Abu Bakr looked at his still sleeping beloved, clenched his finger at the pain as his nerve was destroyed slowly. Insisted on not moving, the pain continued to infest his body. A treacherous tear slipped down his cheek as he tried to withstand the pain. 

The tear fell onto the beloved face, waking him up, shocked flickered across his face as he saw the bloodied Abu Bakr.

Pancreas and Se-peline

“I hated the pancreas.” That was the statement of my ex-surgeon, anatomist teacher. Seriously, he hated it. Mind the past tense.

He continued “…now you may ask me why-“ He was cut off when some of us asked “Why?”. He chuckled.

“Well, (since he was once a surgeon) pancreas is VERY hard to reach, we have to go through layers by layers and then lesser sac, so much work. Then, acute pancreatitis is pain NO.1 in the human body, even more painful than Labour itself, as he said stated by woman who had pancreatitis who had child of her own. This is due to autodigestion. First to, ureter colic. And also, p. cancer can kill you within month.” 

Splenectomy= careful x pierced the Pain(creas), and awaken the hidden/sleeping monster.

The relationship…huhmmh. oh, he liked pancrease now. cause he's no longer a surgeon.